Someone told me once that I was a very complex person. She said that one minute I could be extremely passionate or spiritual in nature and the next very cold and distant. I used to think that she was nuts but lately the more I really look at myself I'm realizing she didn't know the half of it!
I'm told by a lot of people that I'm one of the nicest people they've ever met. That makes me feel good because I really don't like to upset or disappoint people. People also often wonder why I haven't been married before or why I seem to fail at relationships. Part of the reason is I seem to be a psycho magnet. Crazy people flock to me! But there are other reasons for it as well.
I used to think I was just shy. I wish it were that simple. You see, I seem to be suffering from a severe case of low self esteem and an inferiority complex. I'm pretty sure I know where they come from but the problem is overcoming it. It manifests itself in a lot of different ways. On one hand you are very good at certain things, for me it's computers and music, and you know what your capabilities are, in my case I know that I am extremely good at what I do, but I'm very easily intimidated by others even if I know they are not on the same level I am. It also shows when someone graces my with a compliment either on my guitar playing or whatever else. I don't believe them and will, mostly to myself, immediately downplay or degrade myself.
It's affected me in my relationships as well. I've shared my life with some very wonderful women and I've done my best to screw up each relationship. Some even before they started. I either get so scared I'm going to say something or do something wrong that I put up a wall and seem very stand-offish or if someone is interested in me I simply can't believe she could possibly want anything to do with me and turn away.
I've had a lot of negative things happen to me over the past few years and I guess that's just made the issue worse. Couple that with being in a situation where I was surround by negativity in one shape or form for almost 10 years and add to that the fact that I've been feeling the affects of these issues without even realizing it for as long as I can remember. Everything sorta came to a turning point a few years ago when I was actually so down on myself that I was contemplating ending it all. I was scared and alone and didn't know what to do or where to go. To be honest the only reason I didn't is because I didn't want to put my family through that. It was then when I set out on this journey to find out who I was and how I got to where I was. Along the way I realized that I really didn't like or think too much of myself. I still don't but I'm doing my best to turn things around.
Over the last year I've had somewhat of a spiritual awakening. I started playing guitar in a local church's Praise Band and I think it's had a positive impact on me. I've recently become a member of the church and was Baptised by our Pastor. I really admire him. He's been through a lot over the years and with the help of his faith in God he has overcome them. I still have a long way to go but at least now I'm trying. I've always been a spiritual person in one way or another. Some people have said they could see it in my guitar playing because I would seem to drift off into another world during a performance.
My hope is that some day soon I will be able to look myself in the mirror and not be disgusted by what I see. That maybe I will be able to see some of the positive things that others see in me to hopefully just someday be happy. That's all I really want. To be happy!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Let's talk about Al shall we!
I'd like to talk about Al Gore if I may.
First off I don't hate anyone. Theres quite a few people I dislike but I don't hate anyone. However, if I was going to hate someone ol' Al would be at the top of my list (his wife would be next in line!)! Well why is that you ask?
I used to think Al Gore was an idiot. Nothing more than the Democrat version of Dan Quayle. Boy was I wrong. Al Gore is actually one of the smartest people around. He has almost single handedly convinced an entire population of people that Carbon Dioxide, something that appears naturally all over this beautiful planet and something that we EXHALE with every breath, is killing the planet by collecting in the atmosphere and trapping the suns heat and therefore raising the Earths temperature causing "Global Warming". He's had a lot of backing in this crusade as numerous scientists have produced data confirming his theories. By convincing these people of this he has earned numerous awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize, and speaks regularly on the evils of Industry, fossil fuels, farming and anything else that's not "Green". He has been pushing the use of "Carbon Credits" or "Carbon Offsets" for industries and companies that release over a certain amount of CO2 into the atmosphere as a penalty for doing so. He has even convinced people that he himself purchases these credits for his personal home thereby proving that he is doing all he can to reduce his "Carbon Footprint". But here is where his genius ends!
Recently we have all seen the stories about the hacked email server and seen the emails that revealed data has been manipulated or just plain left out in order to show that there the planet is warming even though we are seeing trends of it actually starting to cool. Before that though there were plenty of stories that people just ignored about our good friend Al in reference to his crusade and when you brought them up, you were just "in denial of the facts" (I was told this a lot). First off Al Gore's investment company, Generation Investment Management, owns almost 10% of a carbon asset developer named Camco International, Ltd. This is a company that a business would have to purchase Carbon Offset Credits from in the event their production of CO2 went over their allotted amount.
That's not all, lets take a look at Mr. Gore's carbon foot print shall we! In 2006, which is the year his documentary, An Inconvenient Truth was released, Al's average electric usage was 18,400kWh per month, almost 20 times the average home! His average electric bill was $1400 per month. That's $16,800 per year, just for electric! His natural gas usage is equally ridiculous. His natural gas bill averages $1080 per month! Does this resemble anything close to the conservation and Green initiatives that he preaches? Hardly. This doesn't even take into consideration his constant use of a private jet that consumes more fuel per passenger than a commercial airline or his motorcade that takes him to and from his engagements.
And what about the "Green" movement anyway. Liberals and Progressives like Al not only don't care about the environment but they don't care much about you either. They just use the environment as a sort of Trojan Horse of Troy to make you think that they are concerned about something when in reality theres a whole lot of deviousness going on behind the scenes. Example? There was a concerted effort to build a Solar Farm in the Mojave desert not long ago and a group of LIBERAL and PROGRESSIVE activists shot it down because they were concerned that the Solar Farm would disturb the desert tortoise, a lizard and the Nelson's Bighorn Sheep. Have you ever been to the Mojave desert? I have. I was there for an entire day once (damn radiator). Never saw a tortoise, a lizard or a sheep. How disturbing can a bunch of solar panels be?
What this all comes down to is motive. What is Al Gore's motive for pushing this green initiative? Simple. It's Money and Power! Got nothing to do with the well being of anything or anyone except his wallet! And he's not alone. George Soros wants to nationalize the countries banking system. Where does he keep all of his money? Not in any banks in the US!
Wise up America! The same people that tell you to never believe everything you hear or read for some reason will believe anything and everything someone says as long as they are masking their initiatives with the Environment. Don't get caught up in the BS!
First off I don't hate anyone. Theres quite a few people I dislike but I don't hate anyone. However, if I was going to hate someone ol' Al would be at the top of my list (his wife would be next in line!)! Well why is that you ask?
I used to think Al Gore was an idiot. Nothing more than the Democrat version of Dan Quayle. Boy was I wrong. Al Gore is actually one of the smartest people around. He has almost single handedly convinced an entire population of people that Carbon Dioxide, something that appears naturally all over this beautiful planet and something that we EXHALE with every breath, is killing the planet by collecting in the atmosphere and trapping the suns heat and therefore raising the Earths temperature causing "Global Warming". He's had a lot of backing in this crusade as numerous scientists have produced data confirming his theories. By convincing these people of this he has earned numerous awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize, and speaks regularly on the evils of Industry, fossil fuels, farming and anything else that's not "Green". He has been pushing the use of "Carbon Credits" or "Carbon Offsets" for industries and companies that release over a certain amount of CO2 into the atmosphere as a penalty for doing so. He has even convinced people that he himself purchases these credits for his personal home thereby proving that he is doing all he can to reduce his "Carbon Footprint". But here is where his genius ends!
Recently we have all seen the stories about the hacked email server and seen the emails that revealed data has been manipulated or just plain left out in order to show that there the planet is warming even though we are seeing trends of it actually starting to cool. Before that though there were plenty of stories that people just ignored about our good friend Al in reference to his crusade and when you brought them up, you were just "in denial of the facts" (I was told this a lot). First off Al Gore's investment company, Generation Investment Management, owns almost 10% of a carbon asset developer named Camco International, Ltd. This is a company that a business would have to purchase Carbon Offset Credits from in the event their production of CO2 went over their allotted amount.
That's not all, lets take a look at Mr. Gore's carbon foot print shall we! In 2006, which is the year his documentary, An Inconvenient Truth was released, Al's average electric usage was 18,400kWh per month, almost 20 times the average home! His average electric bill was $1400 per month. That's $16,800 per year, just for electric! His natural gas usage is equally ridiculous. His natural gas bill averages $1080 per month! Does this resemble anything close to the conservation and Green initiatives that he preaches? Hardly. This doesn't even take into consideration his constant use of a private jet that consumes more fuel per passenger than a commercial airline or his motorcade that takes him to and from his engagements.
And what about the "Green" movement anyway. Liberals and Progressives like Al not only don't care about the environment but they don't care much about you either. They just use the environment as a sort of Trojan Horse of Troy to make you think that they are concerned about something when in reality theres a whole lot of deviousness going on behind the scenes. Example? There was a concerted effort to build a Solar Farm in the Mojave desert not long ago and a group of LIBERAL and PROGRESSIVE activists shot it down because they were concerned that the Solar Farm would disturb the desert tortoise, a lizard and the Nelson's Bighorn Sheep. Have you ever been to the Mojave desert? I have. I was there for an entire day once (damn radiator). Never saw a tortoise, a lizard or a sheep. How disturbing can a bunch of solar panels be?
What this all comes down to is motive. What is Al Gore's motive for pushing this green initiative? Simple. It's Money and Power! Got nothing to do with the well being of anything or anyone except his wallet! And he's not alone. George Soros wants to nationalize the countries banking system. Where does he keep all of his money? Not in any banks in the US!
Wise up America! The same people that tell you to never believe everything you hear or read for some reason will believe anything and everything someone says as long as they are masking their initiatives with the Environment. Don't get caught up in the BS!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Why must these people continue to breathe?
It's been a bad day and I'm in one of my moods again so there's no telling where this post will end! You've been warned!
I have about had it with people! Not everybody, just most of them! You read the news about all the out of control spending the Government is doing and then hear them complain about the enormous debt left to them by the Bush administration. But they spend worse than he did, double the debt and then say that we need to spend our way out of debt. I know, ridiculous, but what do I know. Then I read some of these Liberal bloggers, who obviously have never had a pleasant thought in their entire lives, complain about Bush's out of control spending and in the next sentence Praise Obama for what he's doing to combat it! I know, I scratch my head in amazement too!
How about the Liberal Tree Huggers that will do anything for a smelt (thats a fish, and not a very tasty one either) even if it means depriving an entire farming community of water to grow food for us humans! Or what about that ignorrant and almost militant Republican Anit-Gay Senator from California that gets picked up for DUI after partying at a Gay Bar? Or the Democratic leader of the House Ways and Means committee, you know, the committee that writes our lovely Tax code, that just can't quite get his taxes right and forgets small things like $600,000 worth of property he has and other assorted minor oversights. Wheres that bucket? I can feel some gut rumblings coming on!
Ok, lets bring things to a local level. Today while backing out of a parking space, I'm 3/4 of the way out of the space when I have to slam on my brakes because some mental pygmy just HAS to fly through the parking lot like it's a Grand Prix course. Or how about the 300 year old lady riding the bicycle the wrong way down the street and when I patiently wait for her to go by before entering the Intersection she has the nerve to give me a look like I just kicked her dog. I should've hit the old goat!
Here's a favorite. I held the door open for someone at a convenience store today and they had the nerve to turn their nose in the air and ignore me. A simple Thank you would've been nice. Now as I'm leaving the person in front of me opens the door just enough so they can squeeze out and then PUSHES THE FRIGGIN DOOR CLOSED AS I'M TRYING TO OPEN IT!!!! What the hell is wrong with these idiotic zombies walking the streets these days? It's a good thing I'm not into guns or there would be a lot of lead flying around!
Has common courtesy been replaced by inbred rudeness? There is no wonder this country is in the shape it's in today because almost no one out there could give a tinkers damn about anyone else but themselves! It's that whole Baby-Boomer "GIMME IT IT'S MINE" mentality gone amuck! No one respects anyone but are quick to call you out for "disrespecting" them.
All I have to say is:
I have about had it with people! Not everybody, just most of them! You read the news about all the out of control spending the Government is doing and then hear them complain about the enormous debt left to them by the Bush administration. But they spend worse than he did, double the debt and then say that we need to spend our way out of debt. I know, ridiculous, but what do I know. Then I read some of these Liberal bloggers, who obviously have never had a pleasant thought in their entire lives, complain about Bush's out of control spending and in the next sentence Praise Obama for what he's doing to combat it! I know, I scratch my head in amazement too!
How about the Liberal Tree Huggers that will do anything for a smelt (thats a fish, and not a very tasty one either) even if it means depriving an entire farming community of water to grow food for us humans! Or what about that ignorrant and almost militant Republican Anit-Gay Senator from California that gets picked up for DUI after partying at a Gay Bar? Or the Democratic leader of the House Ways and Means committee, you know, the committee that writes our lovely Tax code, that just can't quite get his taxes right and forgets small things like $600,000 worth of property he has and other assorted minor oversights. Wheres that bucket? I can feel some gut rumblings coming on!
Ok, lets bring things to a local level. Today while backing out of a parking space, I'm 3/4 of the way out of the space when I have to slam on my brakes because some mental pygmy just HAS to fly through the parking lot like it's a Grand Prix course. Or how about the 300 year old lady riding the bicycle the wrong way down the street and when I patiently wait for her to go by before entering the Intersection she has the nerve to give me a look like I just kicked her dog. I should've hit the old goat!
Here's a favorite. I held the door open for someone at a convenience store today and they had the nerve to turn their nose in the air and ignore me. A simple Thank you would've been nice. Now as I'm leaving the person in front of me opens the door just enough so they can squeeze out and then PUSHES THE FRIGGIN DOOR CLOSED AS I'M TRYING TO OPEN IT!!!! What the hell is wrong with these idiotic zombies walking the streets these days? It's a good thing I'm not into guns or there would be a lot of lead flying around!
Has common courtesy been replaced by inbred rudeness? There is no wonder this country is in the shape it's in today because almost no one out there could give a tinkers damn about anyone else but themselves! It's that whole Baby-Boomer "GIMME IT IT'S MINE" mentality gone amuck! No one respects anyone but are quick to call you out for "disrespecting" them.
All I have to say is:
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I'm SICK of Health Care!
So I'm reading the news today, because my social life is so full and rich, and I'll tell you, I'm about fed up with the Federal Government and their Quest for Holy Health Care! It's just like watching a Monty Python movie were the minions use coconut halves to make the galloping sounds of a horse and when they reach the first castle and are asked about the coconuts they can't give a straight answer!
Here's my problem with this whole thing. Congress currently has a roughly 20% approval rating. I'm sure the people that approve of Congress's performance don't get out much, have no Internet access and think Reagan is still in office but that's another issue entirely. My point is if you have a 20% approval rating, and you continue to push for something that it's quite obvious most of the country doesn't want then you are suffering from some deep seeded issues that NO Psychiatrist will ever be able to dig up! And people call ME crazy!
I can fix this (haven't we heard THAT before?!)! It's really very simple. If Congress can't write a bill for a proposed law that is smaller than our CONSTITUTION then the Federal Government doesn't need to stick their noses into it! It's really THAT SIMPLE! If regulating an industry requires more paperwork than the document our Founding Fathers created to run the country then the government has no business involving themselves in it!
If only they would remove their craniums from their rectums long enough to listen!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Random Stuff
Swimming with Whales
I have a question. How many people does a Killer Whale have to kill before people stop cuddling up to this beast? If this Whale was a Pit Bull he'd be barking at St. Peter right now! I can imagine swimming with this animal would be like partying with John Wayne Gacy. I'm sure it would start off all well and good but sooner or later someone is going to die! Please set this animal free!
********
Stupid Americans???
Apparently I watch too much news or, in the opinions of some people, not enough. While perusing the Internets vast array of video I ran across a video of Bill Maher on Larry King Live recently claiming that Americans are "too stupid to understand the issues of today". Really Bill? I mean, I'm not the smartest person in the world but I believe I know good and well what the issues of today are and, more importantly, how your beloved POTUS is going to ruin our country! Hey Bill, did you know that Obama doesn't even craft his own policies or agendas? That's all done by John Podesta and the Center for American Progress....oddly enough a George Soros funded "think tank" and special interest group. Did you know that Obama has never really accomplished anything in his life on his own? Did you know that most "Community Organizers" are really just lazy, attention starved, money hungry low lifes that get other people to do all of their work for them while taking all the credit? You wouldn't know that because you and all of your Obama worshipers like you have your noses shoved so far up Obama's rear end that if he turned suddenly your pencil neck would snap like a twig. But what do I know....I'm just a Stupid American!
********
And One More Thing
The next person that sends me a chain letter text message to my cell phone is going to get a visit from 73 blood thirsty Ninjas with Dull swords and bad attitudes! I could care less if you're lonely and depressed and need 15 people to respond back to your wretched little poem to prove that someone in this vast world loves you. Get a life, grow up, get off your ass and do something productive for the first time in your pathetic life! Spare me the drama and I'll spare you an ass kicking!
Oh, and Have a nice day! :)
I have a question. How many people does a Killer Whale have to kill before people stop cuddling up to this beast? If this Whale was a Pit Bull he'd be barking at St. Peter right now! I can imagine swimming with this animal would be like partying with John Wayne Gacy. I'm sure it would start off all well and good but sooner or later someone is going to die! Please set this animal free!
********
Stupid Americans???
Apparently I watch too much news or, in the opinions of some people, not enough. While perusing the Internets vast array of video I ran across a video of Bill Maher on Larry King Live recently claiming that Americans are "too stupid to understand the issues of today". Really Bill? I mean, I'm not the smartest person in the world but I believe I know good and well what the issues of today are and, more importantly, how your beloved POTUS is going to ruin our country! Hey Bill, did you know that Obama doesn't even craft his own policies or agendas? That's all done by John Podesta and the Center for American Progress....oddly enough a George Soros funded "think tank" and special interest group. Did you know that Obama has never really accomplished anything in his life on his own? Did you know that most "Community Organizers" are really just lazy, attention starved, money hungry low lifes that get other people to do all of their work for them while taking all the credit? You wouldn't know that because you and all of your Obama worshipers like you have your noses shoved so far up Obama's rear end that if he turned suddenly your pencil neck would snap like a twig. But what do I know....I'm just a Stupid American!
********
And One More Thing
The next person that sends me a chain letter text message to my cell phone is going to get a visit from 73 blood thirsty Ninjas with Dull swords and bad attitudes! I could care less if you're lonely and depressed and need 15 people to respond back to your wretched little poem to prove that someone in this vast world loves you. Get a life, grow up, get off your ass and do something productive for the first time in your pathetic life! Spare me the drama and I'll spare you an ass kicking!
Oh, and Have a nice day! :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Why Toyota?
I don't want to get off on a rant here but can someone tell me why Congress is attacking and reprimanding Toyota the way they are? I get it.....Toyota recalled a bunch of cars because of defects and they are doing what they can to fix them. But why does Congress have to get in on this? To make it appear that they are concerned about the safety of our citizens? Please! Don't make me vomit! The second MY safety is of any concern of Congress I can assure you the date is November 1st!
Why didn't Congress go after and demand testimony from those slave drivers in China? You know, the ones that were sending us toxic toys and poisoned dog food?! Why didn't Congress do anything when Obama sold Chevy and Chrysler to the UAW? Oh, wait a minute, they did do something. They rolled over like a bitch!
Hey Congress! Do us all a favor! Stop jumping up and down on Toyota's nuts and go back to what you're good at, you know, screwing up the nation! At least Toyota's TRYING to fix their problem!
Why didn't Congress go after and demand testimony from those slave drivers in China? You know, the ones that were sending us toxic toys and poisoned dog food?! Why didn't Congress do anything when Obama sold Chevy and Chrysler to the UAW? Oh, wait a minute, they did do something. They rolled over like a bitch!
Hey Congress! Do us all a favor! Stop jumping up and down on Toyota's nuts and go back to what you're good at, you know, screwing up the nation! At least Toyota's TRYING to fix their problem!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I should be President!
Why do I think that? Well it's pretty obvious you don't need a whole lot of experience to get elected! All you need is a catchy slogan and deliver a good speech and you too can be President!
As for a slogan I'm not sure what would work. I know what I would LIKE to use, and it would be short and to the point! My slogan would be " I will GET SHIT DONE!!! "
What would I do though? Well, for starters I wouldn't need to create a bunch of new bureaucratic black holes, also known as Government Agencies, to "craft and agenda". I would do like I do in my professional career as an IT person and asses the problem, find a solution and then implement it.
For example, this mess in Iran with the bearded wacko in the Members Only jacket wanting to further enrich his stockpile of uranium. We all know, well except for the current POTUS, that he is developing nuclear weapons. Any person with a functioning cerebellum can figure this out. I say why not send him a functioning nuclear weapon, let him experience it first hand and then decide if he wants more! I guess the problem would be that he would probably not survive the initial delivery of said weapon and Tehran would end up looking like a tattered parking lot. Either way you look at it I'm sure it would deter their interests in nukes and we would have achieved our objective!
Moving right along to Al Qaeda. Screw Pakistan! I say If Pakistan won't root out these nut jobs then we are going in after them and to hell with any collateral damage! Al Qaeda doesn't seem to care if innocent civilians are killed and, in fact, use civilians as shields knowing the US forces will not attack for fear of hurting a civilian. Screw 'em! If you show the enemy that you have less remorse for civilians then the civilians will do more to combat the enemy thus helping OUR cause!
This is fun!
Next, Health care. I would leave Health Care alone with a few minor exceptions. I would enact Tort Reform basically because I hate lawyers! I would also make it possible for Insurance companies to sell across state lines. This could be done by not regulating Insurance companies at the individual state level. Instead I would impose a Federal Regulatory commission comprised of all the current state commissions and create a federal standard for Insurance regulation. This would greatly reduce the cost of both individual and group Health Insurance policies because now each company can sell to all 50 states using the same guidelines and regulations. That's how you create a level playing field!
Taxes? Lower! 'Nuff said!
Government waste? Let me just say this....there will be a mass exodus of former Federal Government workers moving to the private sector!
Till next time!
As for a slogan I'm not sure what would work. I know what I would LIKE to use, and it would be short and to the point! My slogan would be " I will GET SHIT DONE!!! "
What would I do though? Well, for starters I wouldn't need to create a bunch of new bureaucratic black holes, also known as Government Agencies, to "craft and agenda". I would do like I do in my professional career as an IT person and asses the problem, find a solution and then implement it.
For example, this mess in Iran with the bearded wacko in the Members Only jacket wanting to further enrich his stockpile of uranium. We all know, well except for the current POTUS, that he is developing nuclear weapons. Any person with a functioning cerebellum can figure this out. I say why not send him a functioning nuclear weapon, let him experience it first hand and then decide if he wants more! I guess the problem would be that he would probably not survive the initial delivery of said weapon and Tehran would end up looking like a tattered parking lot. Either way you look at it I'm sure it would deter their interests in nukes and we would have achieved our objective!
Moving right along to Al Qaeda. Screw Pakistan! I say If Pakistan won't root out these nut jobs then we are going in after them and to hell with any collateral damage! Al Qaeda doesn't seem to care if innocent civilians are killed and, in fact, use civilians as shields knowing the US forces will not attack for fear of hurting a civilian. Screw 'em! If you show the enemy that you have less remorse for civilians then the civilians will do more to combat the enemy thus helping OUR cause!
This is fun!
Next, Health care. I would leave Health Care alone with a few minor exceptions. I would enact Tort Reform basically because I hate lawyers! I would also make it possible for Insurance companies to sell across state lines. This could be done by not regulating Insurance companies at the individual state level. Instead I would impose a Federal Regulatory commission comprised of all the current state commissions and create a federal standard for Insurance regulation. This would greatly reduce the cost of both individual and group Health Insurance policies because now each company can sell to all 50 states using the same guidelines and regulations. That's how you create a level playing field!
Taxes? Lower! 'Nuff said!
Government waste? Let me just say this....there will be a mass exodus of former Federal Government workers moving to the private sector!
Till next time!
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