Why must these people continue to breathe?

It's been a bad day and I'm in one of my moods again so there's no telling where this post will end! You've been warned!

I have about had it with people! Not everybody, just most of them! You read the news about all the out of control spending the Government is doing and then hear them complain about the enormous debt left to them by the Bush administration. But they spend worse than he did, double the debt and then say that we need to spend our way out of debt. I know, ridiculous, but what do I know. Then I read some of these Liberal bloggers, who obviously have never had a pleasant thought in their entire lives, complain about Bush's out of control spending and in the next sentence Praise Obama for what he's doing to combat it! I know, I scratch my head in amazement too!

How about the Liberal Tree Huggers that will do anything for a smelt (thats a fish, and not a very tasty one either) even if it means depriving an entire farming community of water to grow food for us humans! Or what about that ignorrant and almost militant Republican Anit-Gay Senator from California that gets picked up for DUI after partying at a Gay Bar? Or the Democratic leader of the House Ways and Means committee, you know, the committee that writes our lovely Tax code, that just can't quite get his taxes right and forgets small things like $600,000 worth of property he has and other assorted minor oversights. Wheres that bucket? I can feel some gut rumblings coming on!

Ok, lets bring things to a local level. Today while backing out of a parking space, I'm 3/4 of the way out of the space when I have to slam on my brakes because some mental pygmy just HAS to fly through the parking lot like it's a Grand Prix course. Or how about the 300 year old lady riding the bicycle the wrong way down the street and when I patiently wait for her to go by before entering the Intersection she has the nerve to give me a look like I just kicked her dog. I should've hit the old goat!

Here's a favorite. I held the door open for someone at a convenience store today and they had the nerve to turn their nose in the air and ignore me. A simple Thank you would've been nice. Now as I'm leaving the person in front of me opens the door just enough so they can squeeze out and then PUSHES THE FRIGGIN DOOR CLOSED AS I'M TRYING TO OPEN IT!!!! What the hell is wrong with these idiotic zombies walking the streets these days? It's a good thing I'm not into guns or there would be a lot of lead flying around!

Has common courtesy been replaced by inbred rudeness? There is no wonder this country is in the shape it's in today because almost no one out there could give a tinkers damn about anyone else but themselves! It's that whole Baby-Boomer "GIMME IT IT'S MINE" mentality gone amuck! No one respects anyone but are quick to call you out for "disrespecting" them.

All I have to say is:

I'm SICK of Health Care!

So I'm reading the news today, because my social life is so full and rich, and I'll tell you, I'm about fed up with the Federal Government and their Quest for Holy Health Care! It's just like watching a Monty Python movie were the minions use coconut halves to make the galloping sounds of a horse and when they reach the first castle and are asked about the coconuts they can't give a straight answer!

Here's my problem with this whole thing. Congress currently has a roughly 20% approval rating. I'm sure the people that approve of Congress's performance don't get out much, have no Internet access and think Reagan is still in office but that's another issue entirely. My point is if you have a 20% approval rating, and you continue to push for something that it's quite obvious most of the country doesn't want then you are suffering from some deep seeded issues that NO Psychiatrist will ever be able to dig up! And people call ME crazy!

I can fix this (haven't we heard THAT before?!)! It's really very simple. If Congress can't write a bill for a proposed law that is smaller than our CONSTITUTION then the Federal Government doesn't need to stick their noses into it! It's really THAT SIMPLE! If regulating an industry requires more paperwork than the document our Founding Fathers created to run the country then the government has no business involving themselves in it!

If only they would remove their craniums from their rectums long enough to listen!

Random Stuff

Swimming with Whales

I have a question. How many people does a Killer Whale have to kill before people stop cuddling up to this beast? If this Whale was a Pit Bull he'd be barking at St. Peter right now! I can imagine swimming with this animal would be like partying with John Wayne Gacy. I'm sure it would start off all well and good but sooner or later someone is going to die! Please set this animal free!

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Stupid Americans???

Apparently I watch too much news or, in the opinions of some people, not enough. While perusing the Internets vast array of video I ran across a video of Bill Maher on Larry King Live recently claiming that Americans are "too stupid to understand the issues of today". Really Bill? I mean, I'm not the smartest person in the world but I believe I know good and well what the issues of today are and, more importantly, how your beloved POTUS is going to ruin our country! Hey Bill, did you know that Obama doesn't even craft his own policies or agendas? That's all done by John Podesta and the Center for American Progress....oddly enough a George Soros funded "think tank" and special interest group. Did you know that Obama has never really accomplished anything in his life on his own? Did you know that most "Community Organizers" are really just lazy, attention starved, money hungry low lifes that get other people to do all of their work for them while taking all the credit? You wouldn't know that because you and all of your Obama worshipers like you have your noses shoved so far up Obama's rear end that if he turned suddenly your pencil neck would snap like a twig. But what do I know....I'm just a Stupid American!

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And One More Thing

The next person that sends me a chain letter text message to my cell phone is going to get a visit from 73 blood thirsty Ninjas with Dull swords and bad attitudes! I could care less if you're lonely and depressed and need 15 people to respond back to your wretched little poem to prove that someone in this vast world loves you. Get a life, grow up, get off your ass and do something productive for the first time in your pathetic life! Spare me the drama and I'll spare you an ass kicking!

Oh, and Have a nice day! :)

Why Toyota?

I don't want to get off on a rant here but can someone tell me why Congress is attacking and reprimanding Toyota the way they are? I get it.....Toyota recalled a bunch of cars because of defects and they are doing what they can to fix them. But why does Congress have to get in on this? To make it appear that they are concerned about the safety of our citizens? Please! Don't make me vomit! The second MY safety is of any concern of Congress I can assure you the date is November 1st!

Why didn't Congress go after and demand testimony from those slave drivers in China? You know, the ones that were sending us toxic toys and poisoned dog food?! Why didn't Congress do anything when Obama sold Chevy and Chrysler to the UAW? Oh, wait a minute, they did do something. They rolled over like a bitch!

Hey Congress! Do us all a favor! Stop jumping up and down on Toyota's nuts and go back to what you're good at, you know, screwing up the nation! At least Toyota's TRYING to fix their problem!

I should be President!

Why do I think that? Well it's pretty obvious you don't need a whole lot of experience to get elected! All you need is a catchy slogan and deliver a good speech and you too can be President!

As for a slogan I'm not sure what would work. I know what I would LIKE to use, and it would be short and to the point! My slogan would be " I will GET SHIT DONE!!! "

What would I do though? Well, for starters I wouldn't need to create a bunch of new bureaucratic black holes, also known as Government Agencies, to "craft and agenda". I would do like I do in my professional career as an IT person and asses the problem, find a solution and then implement it.

For example, this mess in Iran with the bearded wacko in the Members Only jacket wanting to further enrich his stockpile of uranium. We all know, well except for the current POTUS, that he is developing nuclear weapons. Any person with a functioning cerebellum can figure this out. I say why not send him a functioning nuclear weapon, let him experience it first hand and then decide if he wants more! I guess the problem would be that he would probably not survive the initial delivery of said weapon and Tehran would end up looking like a tattered parking lot. Either way you look at it I'm sure it would deter their interests in nukes and we would have achieved our objective!

Moving right along to Al Qaeda. Screw Pakistan! I say If Pakistan won't root out these nut jobs then we are going in after them and to hell with any collateral damage! Al Qaeda doesn't seem to care if innocent civilians are killed and, in fact, use civilians as shields knowing the US forces will not attack for fear of hurting a civilian. Screw 'em! If you show the enemy that you have less remorse for civilians then the civilians will do more to combat the enemy thus helping OUR cause!

This is fun!

Next, Health care. I would leave Health Care alone with a few minor exceptions. I would enact Tort Reform basically because I hate lawyers! I would also make it possible for Insurance companies to sell across state lines. This could be done by not regulating Insurance companies at the individual state level. Instead I would impose a Federal Regulatory commission comprised of all the current state commissions and create a federal standard for Insurance regulation. This would greatly reduce the cost of both individual and group Health Insurance policies because now each company can sell to all 50 states using the same guidelines and regulations. That's how you create a level playing field!

Taxes? Lower! 'Nuff said!

Government waste? Let me just say this....there will be a mass exodus of former Federal Government workers moving to the private sector!

Till next time!

Terrorism? I can fix this!

A short time ago a friend of mine sent me a story about the late General Black Jack Pershing and how he handled a terrorist situation just before the start of World War 1. His methods were quite simple but effective in that knowing Muslims considered pigs as vile, filthy creatures and having any contact with a pig would result in them being "barred from paradise and doomed to hell". So, he slaughtered 2 pigs in from of the captured terrorists, dipped bullets in the pigs blood and the shot 49 of the 50 captured fun seekers. The 50Th he turned loose knowing he would go back to his friends and relay the horrible display he had witnessed and thereby eliminating any further terrorist acts. Strangely this got me thinking!

While watching the Military channel the other night I had a vision. Well, it was more of a perverted and vile thought but at least this one was constructive! Why not take a few KC130's outfitted with Ariel Refueling systems and fill them with pig blood, fat and any other assorted porcine pudding (hell we could even juice a pig in an industrial size juicer for that fact!) and do a few "carpet bombing" missions over hostile terrorist infested territory and, instead of dropping bombs, give them a nice saturation of pig swill! Think about what you are doing here! First, NO KILLINGS! No one will die as a result of this hog storm! Secondly, they can't hide from it! Sooner or later these suicide bomber wannabes will have to step on the ground that has been soiled by pig parts, soiling their souls thus forcing them to become unable to go to Paradise! This will surely reduce the number of potential suicide bombers and, maybe, cut down on their will to die and become a martyr. Can't be a martyr if your covered in pig punch!!! Heck, this might be the only way to finally achieve Peace in the middle east! Israelis would be able to walk down the streets of Tehran without a care in the world we wouldn't have to worry about Abdul Muhammad Allah Al Frankenfurter getting testy on any airplanes! In fact if something went wrong on a airplane these pork wine soiled boneheads will do anything they can to keep FROM dieing!

Anyways, just a thought!

B+ for Obama???

We all know that recently President Obama gave himself a grade of B+ for his first 11 months in office. Of course we all know that Obama inherited a mess from the Bush Administration and every Democrat worth his weight in manure has pounded that message down our throats since Election day! I used to consider myself a Democrat but the more I looked at some of the lunacy taking place within the party's ranks my view of the Democratic party, as well as the US, started to change (naming that nut job Howard Dean as DNC chair didn't help much either!) Now that I have embraced more Conservative views I feel that I can see the issues from both sides with more clarity than before and, to be honest, a B+ grade for the President is as ridiculous a notion as giving him the Nobel Prize!

First off I can't see what he has actually done! If you count his continuous campaigning and his apology tour of the world then I guess he has accomplished a great deal. He has given the United Autoworkers Union ownership status in two of the countries major car manufacturers concreting my position of NEVER buying a GM or Chrysler product ever again! Is he too stupid to realize that the UAW is the leading cause of these companies downfalls? I mean I'm all for fair wages but paying someone $48/hr to sweep a floor is a bit ridiculous!

Secondly, explain to me how we are supposed to "spend" our way out of recession?

Go ahead, I'll wait!

Spending your way OUT of debt is probably not the most prudent way of handling your fiscal woes. We have spent our way INTO debt! Continued spending will lead to MORE DEBT and eventually more taxes.

Next, security. We have none! Plain and simple! Not at the borders, not in airplanes, and definitely not financially and the latest story about the Nigerian airplane bomber proves that this country is taking a weaker stance on National Security than ever before and that moronic excuse for a living organism Janet Napolitano had the balls (I think shes a dude anyway) to say the System WORKED??? Well, if the system consists of making sure there is a Danish citizen with a fire extinguisher on board then I guess she's got a point!

Finally, Health Care. Yes, Obama is on the path to ruin this as well! Actually the Democrat controlled Congress is going to do this for him. See, Obama knows he is not smart enough to draft any kind of Health Care reform legislation on his own as it would interfere with his golf game, vacations or date night with his wife. Plus, Community Organizers really don't do anything themselves. They delegate the work and then take credit for it. So for now I'll leave Obama alone for this, but if he signs any Health Care Reform legislation into law his ass will take the blame!

So, all in all, if you really want to grade Obama's performance in his first year you have to ask yourself "well, what did he really do?" and after you finish scratching your head because you can't really nail down one thing just remember back when you were in school and you didn't finish an assignment or didn't complete a course. I'll bet your grade was a big fat ZERO!!!

In the immortal words of Dean Wormer from the classic movie Animal House:

"0.0. All courses incomplete!"