I ran into an old friend from my earlier more wild musician days recently. We talked about old times and some of the ridiculousness that we had experienced together. Then apparently I got a look on my face that troubled him so he asked me what was wrong. I told him about some of the things I had been through over the past years and how I kinda feel like I'm in limbo right now and don't know what to do. I explained to him about how I'm going to church on a regular basis, playing in the Praise band and how enjoyable it is but also how much I enjoy playing...or at least used to.
Recently our church revived it's Bell Choir and they rehearse on the same nights I attend a bible study there. I always try to get in and hear the Bells because it's such a relaxing sound but there is more to it than that for me. I enjoy seeing the excitement on the faces of the members while they play. I don't think they have much musical or performance experience and it's refreshing to see such excitement especially on the Sundays that they perform. I used to have that but it's somehow gone from me. I don't have that spark anymore. No inspiration. I have songs written for a CD but I just can't bring myself to finish anything.
So me and my friend talked about all of this, which I found kind off interesting because he's not of the "spiritual" ilk. He actually made sense for once in his life. LOL. He told me that my problem seems to be that the memories of all the bad stuff in my life coincided with my time in a band where I was finally doing what I wanted which was writing and performing my own material and somewhere deep down inside of me the fear of releasing a new CD will rekindle those memories, or even worse, re-create those same problems. He suggested that I take a long look inside of myself and to talk to God about it. Perhaps it's God telling me to do this record but I don't have the faith in him to follow through because the fear seems too great.
Maybe there is some truth to that. Only one way top find out....excuse me please. I need to go talk to someone!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Confusing times
I've always been told by others much older and wiser than me that life gets easier as you get older. HA! I find that to be quite the opposite. Maybe it's the times we are living in or maybe it's just me and all of my inadequacies making things more difficult than they should be but as I get older things are NOT getting easier.
I've always had this knack for helping people whether its with computers, music or just problems in general. For some reason people seem to seek me out to lay all of their problems on and somehow we manage to either find a solution or at least a means of coping. I've never understood the reason people would seek me out but I've just kinda taken things in stride. Until recently.
For the last few years I've embarked on a journey (for lack of a better more flavorful description) to really find out who I am and what makes me tick. It would seem the more I learn about myself the less I know! I'm at a point in this journey now where I seem to be at a crossroads. To my left is the path to "More of the same". Its the road I've been on for quite a few years and the scenery is getting rather dull and lifeless. To my right is a new path. It's a path of Spiritual awareness and, dare I say, enlightenment that I've always looked for but could never see. It's a path that would see me walking lockstep with our Creator and his Son and doing the work that He would want me to do. Here is my problem.
In order to take this new path I have to open myself up in ways that a private person like me tends to shy away from. I would need to write about my innermost feelings, fears and thoughts. I would also need to put these thoughts to song and sing about them to whomever would take the time to listen. I think that's one of the reasons the work on my CD has stalled because I've been too afraid to let those thoughts and feelings out. Now I'm wondering why I've been so scared. Maybe singing about some of the problems I've been through and conquered can help someone else who is in the same or even worse situation. It's not enough to just help those who are close to me. I feel the need, or more to the point a calling, to spread the Word.
At the end of the day the question is do I continue on my current path because it's familiar to me or do I embark on this new path? Seems like an easy decision to make. At the same time it's a scary thought when drastic change is not your forte. It's almost like you are changing your identity in a way. Instead of leaving my old life behind I'm leaving my old way of living behind.
Well my decision has been made and all I can say is "Bring me that horizon!"
I've always had this knack for helping people whether its with computers, music or just problems in general. For some reason people seem to seek me out to lay all of their problems on and somehow we manage to either find a solution or at least a means of coping. I've never understood the reason people would seek me out but I've just kinda taken things in stride. Until recently.
For the last few years I've embarked on a journey (for lack of a better more flavorful description) to really find out who I am and what makes me tick. It would seem the more I learn about myself the less I know! I'm at a point in this journey now where I seem to be at a crossroads. To my left is the path to "More of the same". Its the road I've been on for quite a few years and the scenery is getting rather dull and lifeless. To my right is a new path. It's a path of Spiritual awareness and, dare I say, enlightenment that I've always looked for but could never see. It's a path that would see me walking lockstep with our Creator and his Son and doing the work that He would want me to do. Here is my problem.
In order to take this new path I have to open myself up in ways that a private person like me tends to shy away from. I would need to write about my innermost feelings, fears and thoughts. I would also need to put these thoughts to song and sing about them to whomever would take the time to listen. I think that's one of the reasons the work on my CD has stalled because I've been too afraid to let those thoughts and feelings out. Now I'm wondering why I've been so scared. Maybe singing about some of the problems I've been through and conquered can help someone else who is in the same or even worse situation. It's not enough to just help those who are close to me. I feel the need, or more to the point a calling, to spread the Word.
At the end of the day the question is do I continue on my current path because it's familiar to me or do I embark on this new path? Seems like an easy decision to make. At the same time it's a scary thought when drastic change is not your forte. It's almost like you are changing your identity in a way. Instead of leaving my old life behind I'm leaving my old way of living behind.
Well my decision has been made and all I can say is "Bring me that horizon!"
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
It's no wonder!
Each and every morning I go through basically the same routine. Get out of bed, have something to eat, take a shower, get dressed and go to work day in and day out. Lately though I've been trying to "expand my horizons" as it were and get out a little earlier each day and take the time to see this great country in which we live just as its waking up. Unfortunately the more I do that the more I want to go back to bed and cover my head in absolute shame!
It's no wonder the rest of the world looks at us like we are the biggest weeds growing out of the great compost heap of life! The next time you are at the corner quick mart putting gas in your car take a moment and watch just what goes in and out of the store and you will see what I mean. Eight out of ten men apparently don't know how to properly pull up their pants. People wander aimlessly in the drive lane of the parking lot and have the audacity to look surprised when they are almost hit by a car. Heck, some of them will even give you some sort of bad look and continue on aimlessly meandering with not a care in the world. Not to mention the ones that find it necessary to walk behind a car that is trying to back out of a parking spot. Or how about the Parent of six unruly kids who turns them loose in the store so everyone can be annoyed not only by their failure to be taught proper manners but by the incessant yelling from the guilty Parent that these apparently deaf little hellions have conditioned themselves to tune out!
Americans have really gone down the toilet. Not all of them mind you but just the ones that we notice throughout our busy days. I single them out because the people we don't notice, the ones that go about their business not bothering anyone, not wandering in the middle of the street, yielding the right of way and being respectful to others they meet tend not to draw a whole lot of attention to themselves. It's the moronic masses that just can't seem to understand that the bumper of a moving car might do some pretty drastic damage to your backside if you would happen to have the misfortune of being hit by it. These same people seem to have the mindset that it's the rest of us that should watch out for them and therefore relieving them of any personal responsibility for themselves. I mean how dare us to want to drive down a busy street without having to dodge a moving chicane on a cell phone. And how dare us have the gall to want to have dinner in a nice restaurant without some 3 foot tall booger factory sneezing on our plate while it's parents perform every maneuver possible to avoid making eye contact with you.
We've become a country of self obsessed drones that feel the world revolves around them and that everyone else is just here to cater to their every want and whim. These people feel they are owed everything, shouldn't have to work for anything and that whatever they do to you is OK, but if you somehow glance in their direction you are "disrespecting"!
Now, imagine if these people voted!
It's no wonder the rest of the world looks at us like we are the biggest weeds growing out of the great compost heap of life! The next time you are at the corner quick mart putting gas in your car take a moment and watch just what goes in and out of the store and you will see what I mean. Eight out of ten men apparently don't know how to properly pull up their pants. People wander aimlessly in the drive lane of the parking lot and have the audacity to look surprised when they are almost hit by a car. Heck, some of them will even give you some sort of bad look and continue on aimlessly meandering with not a care in the world. Not to mention the ones that find it necessary to walk behind a car that is trying to back out of a parking spot. Or how about the Parent of six unruly kids who turns them loose in the store so everyone can be annoyed not only by their failure to be taught proper manners but by the incessant yelling from the guilty Parent that these apparently deaf little hellions have conditioned themselves to tune out!
Americans have really gone down the toilet. Not all of them mind you but just the ones that we notice throughout our busy days. I single them out because the people we don't notice, the ones that go about their business not bothering anyone, not wandering in the middle of the street, yielding the right of way and being respectful to others they meet tend not to draw a whole lot of attention to themselves. It's the moronic masses that just can't seem to understand that the bumper of a moving car might do some pretty drastic damage to your backside if you would happen to have the misfortune of being hit by it. These same people seem to have the mindset that it's the rest of us that should watch out for them and therefore relieving them of any personal responsibility for themselves. I mean how dare us to want to drive down a busy street without having to dodge a moving chicane on a cell phone. And how dare us have the gall to want to have dinner in a nice restaurant without some 3 foot tall booger factory sneezing on our plate while it's parents perform every maneuver possible to avoid making eye contact with you.
We've become a country of self obsessed drones that feel the world revolves around them and that everyone else is just here to cater to their every want and whim. These people feel they are owed everything, shouldn't have to work for anything and that whatever they do to you is OK, but if you somehow glance in their direction you are "disrespecting"!
Now, imagine if these people voted!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
An Open letter to our President!
Dear Mr. President,
I had seriously thought about writing you and complaining about the way you have been handling the issues of today but then I realized that you haven't actually done anything in regards to today's problems! Forgive me if I'm out of line, wrong or just un-informed but I thought that when you were elected President of the once most Powerful Country in the world that came with a few, albeit minor, responsibilities! I mean I realize that you promised to fundamentally change the United States of America but I never realized you were going to turn this country into a cowering and quivering mass of liberal stupidity that you have so managed to do. And in such a short time at that! Bravo!
During your campaign it was me, little ole' me, that made the statement that you would be elected as President, not based on the issues, but based on popularity alone. You could do or say no wrong and anyone who was against you was against the moral fabric of our great nation, and a racist to boot. I, for one, was not impressed! I knew that you had all the charm of a used snake oil salesman and the dignity and corrupt nature to match! I mean come on, you are from the South Side of Chicago for crying out loud! They practically invented corruption there! I'm surprised you didn't invite McCain and Palin to meet you in a garage on Valentines day during the campaign!
It was also me that made the statement that the country would've MADE money during the election by simply having it on American Idol, again, because the election was definitely NOT about the issues at hand, at least for you it wasn't. I mean you never answered a tough question, or any questions related to anything important. In fact, the only thing I knew about you was that you were a lousy dancer and listened to crappy music on your iPod and I learned all of that on the Ellen show! I would love the opportunity to debate you in public with randomly chosen moderators and random questions (not none of this pre-screened crap that you and your Progressive ilk seem to employ so well) that pertain to the current issues of the day and asked by average everyday people. I am by no means the most eloquent of speakers but I truly believe, even with my measly High School Education, I could make you look quite silly!
So now we find ourselves in a little bit of an economic meltdown, gas prices are climbing by the minute, strangely there is turmoil in the Middle East, most of our Allies are pissed at us, immigration is a joke and the southern border is so porous the Mexican Army could drive a tank through it and no one would notice. And what do you do? Monitor the situation! Then you send that new Press Secretary of yours out to talk to the press and he can't even construct a coherent sentence. Why won't YOU talk to the press? Afraid to answer some simple questions like "what are you going to do?"? I'm sorry but another round of golf or date night with the misses is not the preferred plan of action here!
It has become increasingly evident that you don't care about this country or what happens to it. It's clear you want to push this country to it's absolute breaking point, lose the next election (if you so graciously allow us to have one) and get your Taxpayer Funded Government Paid FREE RIDE for the rest of your life! If that's the case then just say so, leave the White House and let someone who actually gives a damn get in there and DO SOMETHING! If that is not your intention then listen to the American People, not just the mindless idiots in NYC, DC and LA! Believe it or not there are quite a few very intelligent and thoughtful people in what you Elitists call "Fly-over country"! Some of them might surprise you with their insight and intellect! Or is that something that frightens you?
In closing I'd just like to say, DO YOUR JOB! I know you are a Government worker and as a Government worker you can't get fired no matter how lousy a job you do or even if you don't do your job at all but you must understand something. By you NOT doing your job it has this rather nasty trickle down effect on the rest of us in this once great nation! I for one am not amused at your inability to seemingly accomplish even the slightest of tasks! And don't get me started on that disaster you created called Health Care reform. Debate me in a public forum, please! I promise, I'll be gentle!
Sincerely,
Chris Abbott
I had seriously thought about writing you and complaining about the way you have been handling the issues of today but then I realized that you haven't actually done anything in regards to today's problems! Forgive me if I'm out of line, wrong or just un-informed but I thought that when you were elected President of the once most Powerful Country in the world that came with a few, albeit minor, responsibilities! I mean I realize that you promised to fundamentally change the United States of America but I never realized you were going to turn this country into a cowering and quivering mass of liberal stupidity that you have so managed to do. And in such a short time at that! Bravo!
During your campaign it was me, little ole' me, that made the statement that you would be elected as President, not based on the issues, but based on popularity alone. You could do or say no wrong and anyone who was against you was against the moral fabric of our great nation, and a racist to boot. I, for one, was not impressed! I knew that you had all the charm of a used snake oil salesman and the dignity and corrupt nature to match! I mean come on, you are from the South Side of Chicago for crying out loud! They practically invented corruption there! I'm surprised you didn't invite McCain and Palin to meet you in a garage on Valentines day during the campaign!
It was also me that made the statement that the country would've MADE money during the election by simply having it on American Idol, again, because the election was definitely NOT about the issues at hand, at least for you it wasn't. I mean you never answered a tough question, or any questions related to anything important. In fact, the only thing I knew about you was that you were a lousy dancer and listened to crappy music on your iPod and I learned all of that on the Ellen show! I would love the opportunity to debate you in public with randomly chosen moderators and random questions (not none of this pre-screened crap that you and your Progressive ilk seem to employ so well) that pertain to the current issues of the day and asked by average everyday people. I am by no means the most eloquent of speakers but I truly believe, even with my measly High School Education, I could make you look quite silly!
So now we find ourselves in a little bit of an economic meltdown, gas prices are climbing by the minute, strangely there is turmoil in the Middle East, most of our Allies are pissed at us, immigration is a joke and the southern border is so porous the Mexican Army could drive a tank through it and no one would notice. And what do you do? Monitor the situation! Then you send that new Press Secretary of yours out to talk to the press and he can't even construct a coherent sentence. Why won't YOU talk to the press? Afraid to answer some simple questions like "what are you going to do?"? I'm sorry but another round of golf or date night with the misses is not the preferred plan of action here!
It has become increasingly evident that you don't care about this country or what happens to it. It's clear you want to push this country to it's absolute breaking point, lose the next election (if you so graciously allow us to have one) and get your Taxpayer Funded Government Paid FREE RIDE for the rest of your life! If that's the case then just say so, leave the White House and let someone who actually gives a damn get in there and DO SOMETHING! If that is not your intention then listen to the American People, not just the mindless idiots in NYC, DC and LA! Believe it or not there are quite a few very intelligent and thoughtful people in what you Elitists call "Fly-over country"! Some of them might surprise you with their insight and intellect! Or is that something that frightens you?
In closing I'd just like to say, DO YOUR JOB! I know you are a Government worker and as a Government worker you can't get fired no matter how lousy a job you do or even if you don't do your job at all but you must understand something. By you NOT doing your job it has this rather nasty trickle down effect on the rest of us in this once great nation! I for one am not amused at your inability to seemingly accomplish even the slightest of tasks! And don't get me started on that disaster you created called Health Care reform. Debate me in a public forum, please! I promise, I'll be gentle!
Sincerely,
Chris Abbott
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
My Brain Hurts!
So I'm sitting here during my lunch break going through the news sites and watching some videos on them and I really can't take too much more of this!
Globull Warming
Thats Right, I spelled it "Globull" because thats what it is. I don't care how many ridiculously THC saturated "scientists" you can quote per minute you will never convince me that something that ALL LIVING CREATURES EXHALE is somehow Dangerous when, if you want to combat the highly dangerous gas known as Carbon Dioxide all you need to do is plant a tree or a bush or a friggin garden of flowers! Hell, let the weeds grow in your yard! They'll get rid of it also!
The Oil Spill
Obama is an idiot elected by a nation of idiots who are so convinced that they know whats best for the country if left to their own devices couldn't manage to figure out how to sit on a toilet properly! Thats why the hole still isn't plugged! Oh, by the way, Eric Holder can kiss my ass!
Our Attorney General
Is a schmuck of the lowest order! He couldn't successfully prosecute a cheese sandwich without Obama pulling his strings. And we have all seen just how well he does that.
Our Vice President
Enough Said!
Globull Warming
Thats Right, I spelled it "Globull" because thats what it is. I don't care how many ridiculously THC saturated "scientists" you can quote per minute you will never convince me that something that ALL LIVING CREATURES EXHALE is somehow Dangerous when, if you want to combat the highly dangerous gas known as Carbon Dioxide all you need to do is plant a tree or a bush or a friggin garden of flowers! Hell, let the weeds grow in your yard! They'll get rid of it also!
The Oil Spill
Obama is an idiot elected by a nation of idiots who are so convinced that they know whats best for the country if left to their own devices couldn't manage to figure out how to sit on a toilet properly! Thats why the hole still isn't plugged! Oh, by the way, Eric Holder can kiss my ass!
Our Attorney General
Is a schmuck of the lowest order! He couldn't successfully prosecute a cheese sandwich without Obama pulling his strings. And we have all seen just how well he does that.
Our Vice President
Enough Said!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
We're not smiling there Smiley!
I've always thought Tavis Smiley to be a hateful racist with an agenda and after watching the following clip I'm convinced I didn't know the half of it!
For once I'm actually speechless! What pisses me off more than anything else is the fact that PBS actually gives this hateful moron a place to spew his rhetoric! I am so glad I cancelled my PBS membership!
I guess in his somewhat glued shut eyes if you are of Christain faith and get a speeding ticket that you somehow were following God's orders to speed!
What's truely sad about this is that there are people out there in this crazy world that will believe him!
For once I'm actually speechless! What pisses me off more than anything else is the fact that PBS actually gives this hateful moron a place to spew his rhetoric! I am so glad I cancelled my PBS membership!
I guess in his somewhat glued shut eyes if you are of Christain faith and get a speeding ticket that you somehow were following God's orders to speed!
What's truely sad about this is that there are people out there in this crazy world that will believe him!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Enough with the "GREEN"
OK, I've had about all I can stand of this "Green" movement in this country. First off it's a joke as far as I'm concerned and in my usual and rather direct way I'm going to tell you why!
Reading an article on Foxnews.com I discovered today that there is a NEW Government rebate program currently being debated in congress affectionately referred to as "Cash for Caulkers"! This lovely little program will give homeowners thousands of dollars in rebates for weatherizing their homes or purchasing energy efficient appliances. Depending on what the homeowner does he/she can qualify for up to $8000 in rebates. Quite a lot of our taxpayer dollars will be used for this program also to the tune of about $6 Billion! And of course that photo negative of Alfred E. Newman we call our President says it will Create Jobs and stimulate the economy in the building and construction sector and yadda yadda yadda. You get the message.
Now, lets look at whats going on at a local level. I live on the Eastern Shore of Maryland in an area referred to as the Delmarva Peninsula. Our local Power delivery company is aptly named Delmarva Power. Delmarva Power has just struck a deal with State Regulators that would allow them to change the Delivery rates for the customers that they serve. Our fees per kilowatt hour used will stay the same but the delivery charge will be more. The problem is that people who are energy conscious and do what they can to conserve energy will be charged a HIGHER delivery charge than someone who uses MORE electricity per month!
From Delaware Online:
"Under numbers provided by Delmarva last fall, the average increase translated to about $5.47 a month for a customer who used 1,015 kilowatt-hours that summer.
But a customer who used 500 kilowatt-hours would pay $7.71 more per month, and someone who used 2,000 kilowatt hours would pay just $1.79 more."
Now this rather controversial method of punishing people for doing the right thing hasn't been approved yet but all articles that I've read point to it's inevitable passage. Are you as sick of this ridiculous B.S. as I am? I wish I had the means to run for a rather high profile public office if for nothing else to point out the stupidity and ridiculousness of the current government and the way it operates! Federal, State and Local! They are all corrupt and useless!
Is "Green" is the new "Organized Crime"?
Reading an article on Foxnews.com I discovered today that there is a NEW Government rebate program currently being debated in congress affectionately referred to as "Cash for Caulkers"! This lovely little program will give homeowners thousands of dollars in rebates for weatherizing their homes or purchasing energy efficient appliances. Depending on what the homeowner does he/she can qualify for up to $8000 in rebates. Quite a lot of our taxpayer dollars will be used for this program also to the tune of about $6 Billion! And of course that photo negative of Alfred E. Newman we call our President says it will Create Jobs and stimulate the economy in the building and construction sector and yadda yadda yadda. You get the message.
Now, lets look at whats going on at a local level. I live on the Eastern Shore of Maryland in an area referred to as the Delmarva Peninsula. Our local Power delivery company is aptly named Delmarva Power. Delmarva Power has just struck a deal with State Regulators that would allow them to change the Delivery rates for the customers that they serve. Our fees per kilowatt hour used will stay the same but the delivery charge will be more. The problem is that people who are energy conscious and do what they can to conserve energy will be charged a HIGHER delivery charge than someone who uses MORE electricity per month!
From Delaware Online:
"Under numbers provided by Delmarva last fall, the average increase translated to about $5.47 a month for a customer who used 1,015 kilowatt-hours that summer.
But a customer who used 500 kilowatt-hours would pay $7.71 more per month, and someone who used 2,000 kilowatt hours would pay just $1.79 more."
Now this rather controversial method of punishing people for doing the right thing hasn't been approved yet but all articles that I've read point to it's inevitable passage. Are you as sick of this ridiculous B.S. as I am? I wish I had the means to run for a rather high profile public office if for nothing else to point out the stupidity and ridiculousness of the current government and the way it operates! Federal, State and Local! They are all corrupt and useless!
Is "Green" is the new "Organized Crime"?
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